Disorientated Feelings (Part 55)

Hatsuya has spent many days and nights figuring out how to undo what my aunt did, but it is like modifying the back-end of how our world works. How can we modify that? I can’t think of any other explanation of how nobody could remember who these people that had changed were on a massive scale. If possible at all, we probably would be making a wild guess as to what to do even if we could somehow gain access to it, and possibly not see all the changes until a lot later on.

Being a candidate to be the next head of the company for my performance, they do let me access to everywhere in the company. This means that I can go to any department that I think would have useful information. I didn’t think this could even be possible with me being their lab rat. I guess they have to overlook that for my performance.

It took us months of research, but a gateway has been found. Not the same way as how my aunt discovered it, but there it was. It is kind of cryptic, but there is enough of a pattern to understand the basics. With nothing but my interpretation of what where the settings that my aunt saw, we went on a wild quest to figure out what is going on, changing everything, and reverting any stetting that was found unsuitable.

However, there was a problem.

The settings seemed different. We did manage to find the setting that would stop people from forgetting who the transformed people were, along with having them stay with the same family, However, we were unable to stop the transformations. In fact, the rate seems to be going faster, and children are now no longer spared from being transformed either!

We did try to change the setting again after noticing the changes, but we were unable to access it again: either they changed the method of access and spend another year or more researching from scratch (something Hatsuya isn’t willing to do), denied access from realizing on being hacked, or the changes that were made are permanent. One thing for sure is that we failed to change the world to what it was like.

I went to the dimension department to check if the changes done had an effect on other timelines and dimensions. It appears that our past has not changed at all despite the changes and, even more strange, none of the other dimensions similar to us had people transforming at all, as if we are the only ones with this. I did not want to know what the future looked like, but the staff there had told me that regardless of whether we did that or not, it made no difference to the near future where mankind are made up of only females. Everyone is wearing somewhat the same kind of clothes that wouldn’t look out of place for students, office workers, or those high-class service staff, but for construction works and farmers is just so out of place with that outfit. Even more concerning is that everyone outside Japan look like Japanese, and they are wearing the same clothes too! What on earth happened that has everyone wearing almost the same kind of clothes?!

They were able to locate all of my children and Saeko, including my cross-dressing son whom they say looked the same, but none of them are living together. I’m guessing that they got married or studying somewhere away from home. However, what is more concerning is that no one else in the family, including myself, could be located. Where could I be in the future? It sounded like I no longer exist. They guessed that following Saeko around could lead us to them since she is emotionally attached to me and has no friends, but apparently she either lives by herself, or with an unrecognisable group of girls who  are not wearing the same clothes as Saeko, and neither do they look alike. How did Saeko know them? Why does she hang around them so much?

Just what is this future I am looking at? What exactly is causing this future to be unavoidable no matter what the choices I make from now on? Is it what the final result of the ongoing transformations will be, or will it be separate? Unfortunately, we can’t tap into the network of a different time or dimension to find out due to a technical limitation with the viewer itself. The best thing is to look over someone’s shoulders, if it is on the slim chance that they are even looking at it at all, or fast forward / rewind the time where something happened, but even that requires you to be attentive, if you are even looking at the right place and angle to begin with. Since even this future back then is still my present future, we have no new information about this. We suspect that people of the future are keeping us in the dark about this, and what we have seen in the future are without context.

In any case, we have to stand back and observe if our fiddling with cryptic settings has made a change with the world, or if our guess is correct.


A month has passed since we modified those settings. We did not manage to stop the transformations, but we did slow down the rate this is happening. That initial rapid transformation was only temporary as settings are being applied. Now people are more aware that they are being turned into young girls that resembles whoever the two untransformed oldest family members, instead of being genetically part of a completely different family. However, even with their memories of their previous life intact, their behaviour is highly unlike how they were like, and more of the young girl they appear to be. Their memory from the previous life seem to only play a secondary role as nothing more than knowing who these people they are living with are, and related memories to keep so they aren’t alienated. They also seem to have forgotten the bad memories and people they had, ones that conflicted with their new feminine behaviour or are insignificant memories that aren’t supposed to be remembered. Examples of memories forgotten include them being a level 62 wizard in some side-scrolling massive online role playing game, or knowledge about their favourite soccer teams and matches. Not sure if that is a good thing or not, but looking at what gets forgotten, it is pretty much getting rid of the junk and giving the remaining space more capacity and breathing room so that more useful memories can get remembered better. Make me wonder what I will forget when my time comes… no, I would rather not think of it now.

Also, I noticed a pattern on the transformations: the older and tougher one is, the earlier they get transformed. In theory, that means that at the end of the transformations, the only men that remains untransformed are the young and girly guys that are, apart from gender, not much different from the girls everyone else had already been transformed into! That sounds like the unavoidable fate we have to face eventually. I wouldn’t be surprised my son is one of the last males to remain untransformed. It also seems that females are not affected by this at all until they get old, so the only “manly” people left are the untransformed females.

The former adult and elderly males, along with females that didn’t look or behave like one, did get confused when they saw themselves as a pretty young girl, but they did adjust to their new feminine selves quickly. If they had any sickness or disability prior to the transformations, those would be gone without a trace. There were objections on this mass transformations going on, but with nothing but what appears to be an unexplained phenomenon by mother nature (or “god”). Not sure if them forgetting bad things and the sub-concous instinct to move like a girl has anything to do with that. I’m not saying that I really want everyone to be turned into a girl, but I’m surprised with the acceptance rate with their new selves. I don’t know if this would have been more dramatic or have gotten worse, as the people who could have violently reject this phenomenon of change had already been changed beyond recognition without knowing it.

This is certainly an improvement over us not knowing that this is going on at all until we noticed an unexplained gender ratio imbalance, which itself was quite some time from when this was first noticed. Even though we failed to stop the transformations, we can at least be aware of the progress on who has been changed, and mostly keep our memories intact when the changes happens to us.

What still puzzles us is why can’t we still know who the people who had been transformed within the year prior to the modifications we did? There is nothing new in my head that tells me who is this Naomi girl living with my aunt other than the false memories in my head and modified DNA on her body that says she is her “sister”. I guess this is probably one of those things where you can’t change what has already been changed. It’s too early to tell if they can be transformed again under the new settings, but I would probably would have been transformed myself before that happens when I hit the maximum age I can be without transforming. If this is true, I can theoretically live forever as I can’t become an elderly woman or get the problems associated with it.

Some people have suggested to the government to allow men to dress up like women for their eventual transformation to mitigate the shock. The government had not approved it officially, but public schools have seem to have quietly allowed this. While the attire for male and female still exists, the description and rules have been carefully reworded to suggest that people of either gender could wear an attire that is designed for the opposite gender without penalty. New schools introduced during this period that accept males seem to have the “unisex” uniform to look a lot like what is usually for females. All the former boys’ school were forced to either go co-ed or close down when the number of boys in the school became too low, on top of the high demand for places in schools among females.

Apparently, the male uniforms proved to be unpopular with the girls, but more male students do start wearing the female ones. The same goes to companies and organisations that do have different male and female uniforms. Even though males had not fully turned into females, I already knew at this time that everyone is practically female now as the tougher men have already been transformed, with how early it happened being relative to how tough they were. The only “tough” people left are girls who had not been transformed yet.

Nobody seemed to care that there are now too few men for a woman (including the former males) to be able to reproduce. The only practical way to keep up with the rapidly declining birth rate is for the man to “mate” with multiple women, but it’s a loosing battle with so many women already, and more of the precious few remaining men being turned into women. A man can make many women pregnant in nine months, but a woman can only produce one child in that same period. But how can we reproduce when all of the men are gone? Our “eternal youth” may be stopping us from dying from old age, but we can still die from other causes like vehicle accidents. I hope someone somewhere is researching on how us females can reproduce in the absence of men, and I can’t stress enough on how urgent this is. Even though I personally hate having children, mine actually turned out to be quite well behaved even as infants, which is considered rare and unusual. Not sure if me being modified at birth had an indirect effect of what kind of children I produce…
So what is the world like today compared to when I was in high school? Long queues for the female toilet, crowded schools, more cross dressing men (embreasing to say my own husband and son are one of them), work requiring people to be brave or quick gets slowed down. As a result of that last one, transformed people who worked in those kinds of jobs were fired for underperforming, only to have the company not be able to find a replacement and were to eventually forced to either close down or have machines. I hope the transformed people can program these things: the world needs these even more.
The world I am living in is going too far in the feminine direction, but what can we do but to make it comfortable? Well, I didn’t really think much of the changes itself until it changed someone really close to me: my dad. Yes, my dad got turned into one of those adolescent females that are becoming increasingly common today.

Part 54 | Part 56

Disorientated Feelings (Part 54)

So how did this whole incident of people being mysteriously turned into girls begin? Was it that abandoned ski loge that Saeko found where we first heard of it? No, it was already happening at that time. I didn’t realize before, but the answer is actually closer to me: my aunt. Yes, she may be younger than me, but it was my dad’s parents and dad himself having a child too early caused me to be one generation ahead of what it should be.

You see, this aunt of mine, Nanami Fujibayashi, vanished in front of my eyes at her house when I went to check on her on one of those days between me arriving back from my university and getting married. She was living alone with… That’s odd; I can’t remember who it was other than that person being a relative, and nether remember who my grandparents and above were. My memory tells me she has a younger sister, Naomi, but Saeko and Nanami insisted that Naomi was one of those people who were among the first batch of people to be transformed where their existence is shifted to a different family where they think they have always been a part of them, where neither them nor those aware of this, could remember who they were before. The same goes for the family members they were formerly from. I will talk about why people do not remember people who were transformed in the first year, and why people could remember, and stay with the existing families, for the subsequent years up to present later. And also, my dad being turned into a girl too.

Back to the story, my aunt reappeared at Saeko’s house at Inami City some distance away… A SECOND LATER! The flash of green lights she saw told me that it was that doll Saeko and I have encountered before, where I almost died while stuck in an another dimension back during my days in High School.

During the time between me seeing my aunt disappear and Saeko calling me that Nanami was with her, I thought I was seeing things, or my aunt cease to exist. My aunt told me that, during that one second, she was trapped in a huge empty white void for what seemed like hours. In that time, something that looked like a scene preview appeared, which automatically loads any scene in her memory that has many people in a scene. The settings panel that appeared is the primary cause of it happening, but since the words on it were so cryptic to her (she wasn’t detailed enough for me to determine what exactly she saw), and thinking the whole thing was just something like a game editor, she did not revert the changes she made when she left.

What exactly was the scene she saw editing? She didn’t say: she only told me that the people in it changed with each setting, in my aunt’s words and my comment on what it could have been:

  • Changing the weather and sunlight. People’s clothing changed depending on the temperature.
    • I am guessing this does not change the real world and more of how they would look like in various weather, seasons, and time of day.
  • Several settings where nothing visible happened
    • Perhaps this was the rate the changes takes place? The intelligence of people? How the body works? If only I could at least see what the cryptic words look like for me to be able to translate.
  • Made some children older, elderly people younger, with the slightly older children and slightly younger elderly changing too the more this was changed by a notch, along with a sub setting that doesn’t do anything, and another appearing to invert the selected range.
    • I’m guessing this changes the minimum and maximum age range of people to change, with the difference between the two narrowing the more this was changed. With that inverted range selected, that becomes the age range where people to not get affected by the change which means that, over time, everyone would be changed, including me! Since it is already in effect, inverting that setting back is a bad idea since it changes all the remaining people who aren’t previously affected, and not restore people who already have changed. That setting that didn’t seem to do anything is probably the delay setting for the minimum and maximum, which explains why we don’t see babies and children changing like how the elderly did.
  • More people in the scene turned into men in one direction, women in the opposite direction
    • I’m guessing this changes the gender ratio of men to women. I didn’t know the current situation could have been where more women being turned into men instead of the current opposite situation before she mentioned this. It is unclear at this time if she had the setting to have more women than men, or made up of women only. What is for sure is that there are more women than ever before, and the men, which are already the minority, are still turning into young women today.

Well, I’m am now absolutely positive that my aunt was responsible for all the elderly and tough men being turned into young girls, but she didn’t know what she was doing, and she got into that situation in the first place because of that doll. The problem is, those settings are in some unknown dimension we can’t get to without knowing what it is. It almost seems as if it could fundamentally change how our very own world works, and our world could have been paused for hours while my aunt was there. You wouldn’t notice the world around you was paused if you are a part of it unless noticeable changes were made during that pause.

Why is it that people could not remember who the people transformed in the first year were, but could for the subsequent years? Well, it started when people noticed that elderly people and tough people were missing, more girls in school than before, and, more importantly, people can’t remember who those people were. It wasn’t clear until the first population census after the change was released proved their suspicion.  It was then that scientists, including us at Hatsuya Research, went on a scramble to figure out what was going on.

Based on what my aunt told me, I asked the department that researches other dimensions to see if they could figure out something. It is also this department that helped brought me back from that other dimension. Information involving our company’s counterparts of other dimensions, along with the things in there different from ours, go through this department.

[Author’s note:  I honestly don’t want the Kansai-arc to end abruptly after only just two parts, but those were written 8-12 months ago and I don’t remember the details. I am fast-forwarding the time to catch up to the events of S2P87 and beyond.]

Disorientated Feelings (Part 53)

We got around Kyoto by bus and train to places like the Fushimi Inari Shrine (伏見稲荷神社) for the countless number of the arches, and Kinkaku-ji where the famous golden pavilion is. What they did not mention is getting around is seemingly long and endless that people don’t go far from the main entrance, or the other things those temples had the guide didn’t mention. What we saw along the way might have changed since I had went there on my school field trip, but the attractions themselves remain unchanged.

However, I couldn’t escape the nightmare from home of seeing an increase of the number of young females. I noticed more young females and the absence of the elderly. With people like my dad already turned into a girl far younger than me, it’s obvious what happened to the elderly and where the surge of young girls come from. Sadly, that would also mean that it could happen to me one day and lose some of my memories, like knowing who my middle school classmates were as it could become irrelevant.

Authorities and experts on the human body are aware of what is happening, but without knowing what is causing the transformations to happen from a scientific point of view, they are unable to come up with a way to reverse this or stop it from affecting more people. During an interrogation of a man known for committing a lot of crimes at the police station, he randomly turned into a girl, including belongings and clothes worn. The girl could remember who she was before the transformation happened, but not the crimes she did as a man, and neither did she looked like she would do any more crimes. Further medical checks on the girl revealed that her body structure is that of anyone who was born female with the body biologically at the age of puberty. However, the last check up as a male had showed no sign of being intersex, and completely male with minor signs of aging. This is what researchers are baffled about: how is this even possible?

People are unsure if this should be treated as urgent as it’s happening to everyone, but nobody is dying or getting sick from it either. In fact, anyone who had disability or health problems had those gone without a trace after transformation. As a matter of fact, crimes actually fell rapidly, and none of those caught were the transformed people, including those known to have committed crime before. The government is facing problems finding these people a place to study due to the law of mandatory school attendance up until middle school, even though more than 90% chose to continue on their studies.

The government came up with a way to track people’s actual and biological ages. To avoid discrimination, the use of a person’s biological age, instead of actual age, should be used. For date of birth relating to biological age, it would be the day they are transformed, minus their biological age. In the possibility where already transformed person transforms again, that age is carried over. I don’t know how people would come across this, or react when they age of what they think they are is completely different from on this site. The latter situation is likely happen to those who had their memories wiped, or born after everyone had changed.

Taking a break from Kyoto, we decided to take side trips to Osaka and Kobe. It’s funny how there are still women-only carriages on the trains to there when a large majority of people these days are women. Isn’t it sad that more and more men are disappearing? Kind of as good as them gone completely as all the “tough men” are gone since the very first wave happened.

The first wave involved a lot of people: which included tough men, and the elderly at that time. This did not happen for the subsequent waves, but their memories were wiped clean as if they were really born a girl, and anyone who used to know them wouldn’t remember, but of course, nobody could ignore the sudden increase of girls that nobody was able to tell who exactly. I know I had grandparents and great grandparents, but I have no memory of them as they are likely to be the first batch of transformed people and erased from my memory. Since my parents transformed later, they remembered me, but it’s awkward talking to them as girls younger than me, probably the same biological age as my only son.

The purpose of this holiday with my family is enjoy the way we are now before my children gets older, and the inevitable and unpredictable moment where I will be reborn as a younger girl and possibly loose some of my current memories to some degree. I don’t know how the concept of marriage and family would work in the future if everyone is a female of about the same age.

Part 52 | Part 54

Disorientated Feelings (Part 52)

For the summer school break of my children, we took the time off from work to bring my family on  a vacation to Kyoto. I don’t think the opportunity to do this would happen again before my children gets older. I’ve been there before as part of the school trip and business meetings, but having a schedule to stick to is not exactly enjoyable with pressure of keeping track of time. Excluding my time in university at California, I never travelled much. I don’t know why the thought of travelling never occurred to me before.

I’m the head of the family because I did all the documents, fed everyone, and practically almost everything that has anything to do with the family. It’s not the first time doing something like this as I also had to take care of my younger siblings (I was the eldest child). To tell you the truth, I don’t want to take care of other people: I would prefer to be taken care of than to take care of others. What is my husband doing? He’s an idiot and relies on me like he’s one of my children. I married him only because I was forced to look at him frequently just to keep myself sane, but I feel lonely inside.

Starting with my parents, everyone that descended from them, including me, are products of a lab experiment. I never felt that I was being watched, but I did felt that something was wrong with my body even though, medically, there was nothing wrong with it. Me and my siblings were part of a sex-change experiment, Itsuki and Saeko are part of some unknown madness that goes on inside what appears to be a prestigious academy from the outside. Because Saeko’s body is also immortal, she is also a “more realistic replacement for lab rats”. My first two children was to see if I, who was originally born male as part of the experiment mentioned earlier, could reproduce children as a female and inherit the features I have. The next two… Other than them having my genes even though I didn’t give birth to them, I don’t want to talk about it.

Why do I look a bit foreign? I inherited it from my great grandfather on mom’s side, who came from Russia during the war almost a century ago. It’s a shame that I know nothing of him. His wife, my late great grandmother, couldn’t remember him much because he died, for reasons unknown to me, long before my mother was born. Since my parents had me when they were young, who themselves were born to young parents, I have an aunt who is higher up in my family tree line, but is younger than me. Most people usually have ones that are a couple of decades older than them.

(Author’s note: The name of the great grandmother in question is Ajisai Miyazawa (宮澤 紫陽花), who is primarily featured in An Unexpected Wish (4th story) from the viewpoint of Nanami Fujibayashi, Kotomi’s aunt. However, the latest part of that story published is part 6 (published 13 March 2010), which covers the period when Kotomi just graduated from university and before getting married. I haven’t figured out how and when Kotomi’s great grandmother died, but certainly is already quite old as of S2P21/S4P6, and this current one is at least 8 years after that.)

People say the best time to travel is before I get married, have children, or get very old. Obviously I don’t meet the first two now. My family was financially strained supporting me and five of my siblings. Before now, my mind was also filled with too much of being with Itsuki’s body, even though I knew that the real Itsuki is now Saeko since less than a year after I met him.. I am forced to marry his former body to keep my sanity, and I had to do it quick before he marries someone else and make me look like a stalker. Sure I would like to have married someone else myself, but being forced to look at a particular person of the opposite gender without going insane or causing a problem is the main problem here. Believe me, I tried not look at Itsuki for a day and I could feel myself going senile. Looking at Saeko or my husband’s “female form” seems to have the same effect as not looking at him at all. The extremity of this was put to the test when I studied at Standford University where I have to see an image of him at annoyingly frequent intervals. It’s a nightmare trying to survive university without even thinking of him. I can’t tell if this is the feeling of actual love, or a curse that forces me to always see him for the rest of my life. I don’t know what will happen if Itsuki dies before me, or decides to permanently be in his “female form”.

Getting time off work is not easy, but I guess because of my supervisory role, and the fact that I never took vacation for a long time, that I was given this time to spend with my children. Having someone in the family who works with the same company as me is an awkward thing to deal with. The line between separating family from work is blurred, and even more so when my own existence is the result of a relative’s work-related experiment. It’s like cloning, and I’m the clone, and I see the one who made me as a family member, but I was created because of work.

To get to Kyoto from our house is too far to comfortably travel by car, and things road tolls, traffic jams, rest stops, and refueling along the way, just easily adds up to the time and costs of getting there. No one wants to sit in the car for too long, even if you are not driving it. Obviously, using Saeko’s car is out of the question. It’s auto-drive function works only when Saeko in that car, and even with that, there’s no difference in the duration of the traveling. Ceiling of the car is too low to be able to stand up to stretch, and, especially with other people in the car, can’t stretch sideways. The only practical and quickest way is to take the train towards Tokyo, and then the Tokaido (東海道) Shinkansen from there. No reservation is required, but the fastest train service is made up of mostly reserved seats and a few non-reserved ones. On top of that, this line is the most crowded line among all the other Shinkansen lines in the country. Good news is that the same non-reserved ticket can be used on the slower trains that has no ticket turnstile separating the two, which is just as fast, but with more stops. You can feel the train tilting left and right when a train on the neighbouring track just whizzing by at high speed while stopped at a station.

Kyoto station building is quite huge in size, probably the largest in size. Just outside of it is the Kyoto Tower. For an ancient capital, this whole area looks very out of place with a lot of buildings that are quite recent with nothing but super modern structures visible. However, our hotel is elsewhere and have to travel further, and we aren’t exactly in the mood to explore the area after all those long hours traveling. However, we are feeling hungry, so perhaps we head out to eat after dumping our bags.

The hotel was a four star western hotel that Saeko had booked and paid for. She originally wanted to book a more posh 5 star hotel “because she has too much money”, but I don’t want my kids to be spoiled too much. Neither do we plan to most of our holiday at the hotel either. She booked three rooms: two for me and Itsuki, one for the kids, and one for herself. Saeko’s room has extra beds and is connected with the room my children sleep at, but, for some reason, my room is on a different floor at the opposite end of the hotel.

Me: “Hey, Saeko. About the rooms…”

Saeko: “I don’t trust Itsuki, and you are the only one who can control him. Also, your son scarily looks as if he’s my sister with no thanks to my body’s age permemently frozen for so long, and the Mizuho uniform he couldn’t remove.”

The Mizuho school uniform my son is wearing turned him into a teenage girl, even though he’s actually a 7-year-old boy. In theory, my son would turn back to being a boy when he removes it and remembers what he did as an older female self. However, Mizuho seem to have somehow programmed these uniforms in a way that they physically can’t be removed until a month after graduation from middle school, if he doesn’t continue on to Mizuho’s high school and university that is, which delays it even longer.

Me: “Yeah. I’ll make sure he doesn’t scare the children.”

Saeko: “Oh, and don’t take too long to prepare to go out again, or the children would loose the mood to go out. Especially with the long travel we just had.”

Even though I’m the mother and the head of the family, it is Saeko who actually takes care of my children, even more than me or my husband, like they are her children. I love Saeko, but she is of the same gender as me, and is officially seen as object belonging to Hatsuya Research, backed up by the fact that a machine they made created her body. If it weren’t for her being an existing employee when that happened, she wouldn’t have receive the truckloads of she is receiving now as compensation for her life being changed forever. I receive some of that compensation money too because the person I was forced to like has a different body and I was still forced to like the former body, whose new owner makes my blood boil. This appeared as a mysterious pay rise until it was explained at a later date. Hatsuya said it was a permement curse and nothing could be done from stopping me from loving someone I now hate. The current Itsuki should have been fired from the company a long time ago, but he is too tightly linked to two of their important assets (me and Saeko) that they sent him to work at Mizuho, where he turns into a gentle female. However, since Hatsuya knows that I have to see my husband as a male to keep me sane, they relaxed the rules regarding how the uniform for Mizuho staff, which he belongs to, could be removed: removable as long you are not seen while changing outside their campus.. Previously, it was forever, and it made the rules for students and guests at that time seemed like a more relaxed option.

That evening, we ate at a fast food restaurant and shopped at the shopping street and department store there. I don’t know why I was the least excited among my family.

Part 51 | Part 53

Disorientated Feelings (Part 51)

It been a week since my son entered middle school, and it seems that he has already made some friends, which is surprising to me as he didn’t have any before. What I’m even more worried is if he could cope as he’s only seven years old, though him having friends kind of reduces my fear by a little bit. He never had any friends back in first year primary school or kindergarten, but yet could get friends in middle school first year like it’s easy. Maybe I’m just too worried, but my son is my first child to be in middle school.

My son chose not to stay at the dorms there, except when there’s something up that he stays late there, or be early for the following morning. My daughters told me that he sometimes bring his friends along, sometimes long enough to meet Saeko or my husband, but they are gone by the time I reach home.

Like my husband these days, I never saw my son changing out of that Mizuho uniform (though, for middle school this time). He doesn’t even talk about it until I mentioned it. There aren’t any spare uniforms sold or provided, and has been wearing it since the day before the entrance ceremony without ever changing out of it.

There’s apparently no fastener or zip on the skirt, but I’m told they appear only when the conditions to be able to remove the uniform have been met, which, for my son, is when he graduates in his third year. This would not be happen if he continues to another Mizuho school, and the new school year is less than a month after he graduated from the previous school. That month is the buffer period for old friends to celebrate their graduation and not see some of their old friends as a male. However, the uniform of the old school can be overridden by the new one if their new school starts during that period, including that of non-Mizuho schools. If he, however, continue on to a non-Mizuho school, he has to either enter as a girl or wait for an entire year to be able to enter as a boy. A similar logic applies to students transferring out of Mizuho schools before reaching graduation, but if the house they move into to study at the new school is far or remote enough to not have friends from the old school to visit, the uniform could be removed only after leaving the old town and not have old friends to come along. Things could get complicated of they do.

The reason being that, at the time of registration, interview, and exam, he’s still a Mizuho student, which also means that he’s biologically a girl from wearing the Mizuho uniform, and the new school would be expecting him as that same girl, or the entrance test would be deemed invalid since the male self is seen as a different person who didn’t take the test. Also, people’s perception would be different if he attends as a girl for the first few weeks and suddenly as a boy the following week onwards, as opposed to staying as a boy or a girl without changing during the entire time at that school. Even “transfer students” get treated differently than if the entered as first year students on the first day.

If he choose to enter the non-Mizuho school and the school begins less than a month after graduating from a Mizuho school, he is allowed to remove the old uniform to wear the that of the new school and wear any clothes freely, but his body would remain as a girl of the age same as his peers until a month after he graduates from there too. This was stated (but at a section people would usually skip over) when they registered for any Mizuho school. Also, with Mizuho known for being a popular girls’ academy, any males who had studied there, but chose not to remain as female after graduating, would have to use “Mihara Academy” (an institute owned by the same entity that also owns Mizuho) as the name of the school they graduated from. The disadvantage here is that Mizuho is seen as a more prestigious academy than Mihara, which translates to getting a high-paying job easily, or given highest priority over other applicants competing for the same job. On top of that, they are likely to have developed the female behavior from being biologically an adolescent girl during their time there long enough to be a part of their normal behavior, and the male ones undeveloped. This would have people see them as a girly man, but at this age where males are being turn into females by a separate phenomenon, nobody seemed to care. It would have been a great deal if that didn’t happen though.

To be able to register and attend as a boy, he has to wait until a month after graduating. Since that would be April or May, he would have to wait for an entire year to be able to do so as entrance exams are in December, though, for college, they might be able to make it for the ones that start in July or September, which are are mostly overseas-based colleges. Kind of logical when you think about the reason behind it, but nobody wants to wait for a whole year just to progress from middle school to high school, or from high school to college. Although, even some candidates applying for a place for college do face difficulty and, for competitive courses, the qualifying score has to be adjusted relatively with the number of available places to the number of candidates, especially if the amount of the latter exceeds the former.

In Mizuho College department, this isn’t a problem as they could use any available space in the campus if the main college area is full. That is why some college classes are located in other areas of the academy that is under other departments, and possibly some distance away from the main college department area. That is why the uniform is important in identifying who’s who as a college student who has the classroom at, for example, the high school department won’t be stopped by the high school principal for something that applies to high school students only. Priority of who uses the rooms depends on which department the room belongs to. Being able to accommodate more students is even more important today with the swelling number of students that came from the phenomenon of older people becoming young girls. Depending on the age they had become, they have to attend school of the level of what people of their age go to even if they had attended school before “in their previous life”. The large majority of those “transformed” people happen to fall under the high school and college ages. All the Girls and co-Ed schools see classes filled to the maximum, but boys schools are seeing the opposite as everyone is being feminized and fewer children are being born. If this happens to the same person again they could actually be living forever as they can’t get (biologically) old enough to die of old age. This is just an unconfirmed theory as the oldest known person who has already been transformed is some decades away from reaching the age of when the second time would be expected to happen. However, they are still vulnerable to dying of other causes, which is why reproduction is still important.

It’s bad enough that less than half of those children born these days are boys. In the past, they made up about 60% of births. These boys-only schools are at the threat of being shut down if this keeps up if they don’t go co-ed, but if they do, female students could easily make up more than three quarters of the student population in the first year due to the overflow from other schools.

Nobody likes the huge numbers of students, but the problem is that nobody could control it from happening. Hatsuya has already come up with a solution of women producing children should the male gender be completely extinct, but the methods seemed unnatural. I know because I was the test subject during the research stage, with my third and fourth child being the products from that experiment. I’m scared that I might become a different person if my behaviour were to be forcefully changed by external forces. Well, maybe still be able to be myself, but with the new behaviour forced on me over a long period of time, I might eventually give in. You see, all the men who had been turned into girls really behaved like girls, but no changes for the girls who behave like boys, which I fall into. I forsee that this could happen at the same time, or after, when all the males become females, making the male gender extinct. That itself is of an unknown time, but the rate it is happening now tells me that it could happen in less than half a century.

My son’s academic performance is surprisingly quite good for a middle school year 1 student even though he was only in primary school year 1 just the year before. Other traits that he had, or as far as I am aware of at least, is that he is well disciplined, communicates with people, and enjoying facilities in Mizuho that most schools, including mine, never had. For a 7-year-old, it kind of too young to tell if his current behavior is his normal behavior, or is influenced by the uniform. One thing for sure is that, if people don’t know him, they would see him as an intelligent 15-year-old girl. Despite the large variety of uniform designs in use, Mizuho uniforms are easily distinguished from other school uniforms.

Disorientated Feelings (Part 50)

(Last modified: 4 August 2012)

Me: “I just told you earlier that I am ranked higher than you, worked with the same company, and had been there before. Maybe it’s because I am also your spouse, or a niece of the director, or a close friend of Saeko, that I could see it. Possibly a combination of factors too.”

I honestly did not know that I had just seen what only highly-ranked people could see. However, the video I just recorded proved that I can’t prove or talk about it to anyone except those who already knew.

Me: “Anyway, what was that you just did that normal people are not supposed to be able to see?”

Itsuki: “To tell you the truth, nobody I know of could control that from happening. Even the high-ranking people of Mizuho are not excluded from feeling this too. Out of curiosity, what did you find yourself wearing while in there, or a general description at least? However I need you to be very specific with the colours.”

As my uniform stood out a lot from everyone else, how could I forget that?

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with the various versions, but I don’t see anyone else wearing the same thing as what I found myself wearing on is very different. It has Hatsuya’s logo instead of Mizuho’s. Uses a blazer that has the colour of somewhere between black and blue, but more towards black and has double white outlines at the edges. My name tag was in shining gold. The skirt was just plain maroon, but the tie alternates between maroon and navy blue.”

Itsuki though about it for a while. Come to think of it, Itsuki is wearing exactly what I had just described, but with the skirt using additional colours from the other parts of the uniform, and forming a pattern with those colours. The name tag and company logo is missing too. It looks more like a blazer school uniform than an office attire.

Itsuki: “Oh, this outfit I’m wearing now? It’s the 4th generation of the Mizuho uniform designed specifically for Hatsuya employees, with the skirt pattern you see me in now is for branch managers only. Supervisors of other branches would have different designs and colours assigned to them, but the skirt pattern is the same as me. Better than that same black outfit and get alienated with our own staff. Well, the skirt have to be this complex in design instead of plain one-colour used in previous generations in order to be able to identify department and rank since the rest of the uniform could be removed now. The blouse and the skirt are the only thing left that can’t be removed. The latter was chosen because of its higher visibility than the other. This design is not new, though.”

I never saw anyone who worked there. Itsuki and Saeko wore supervisor and high school/college student uniforms respectively instead, so maybe that is why it seemed new to me.

Mizuho has, among other things, been known for having very good looking uniforms that matches the pretty girls who wears them, and even more so because it abandoned the conservative look that had been used for decades earlier. (1st and 2nd generation) This happened in an era where many other schools have already changed from the sailor uniforms and the old Mizuho uniforms being among the top reasons why students who could pass the academy’s difficult entrance test did not enrol into Mizuho. This was discussed among students for quite a while, but the barrier that is preventing the change from happening are the school staff who wanted to “preserve the tradition”, who also did not bring this matter up to the school founder. According to the founder himself, such tradition does not exist and it seem like it for the staff because it has been that way for too long. The founder wanted to change this perception before he dies.

The change wouldn’t have happened if the school founder noticed that a student they want to admit (Saeko) by recommendation from its affiliate company, wasn’t able to wear the uniform skirt due to its length. He took the suggestion of the design of the existing uniform back then not attracting more students quite seriously. What were the lengths? For the 1st and 2nd generation, it was about around between the feet and knees. For the 3rd generation, it was a few inches above the knees. That is quite a lot of difference.

By the way, since the population is now predominantly female, the skirt length has become shorter with the 4th generation that you could barely see it when a winter coat is worn. People who feel cold actually wear thicker layers of stockings with skirt over it instead of pants, to make sure that the shape of their legs remains visible. I don’t know who they are trying to impress as males are seemingly becoming endangered, but that’s the way fashion has become today and I don’t like it.

Other feedback included everyone of all the academy’s departments wearing the same uniform and hard to tell one apart. The new designs may be just a bit better than the other schools, but the fact that it was a huge change from the previous version that has been used for many decades itself is enough to be a huge news to everyone.

It’s hard to tell if there were any objections as those are likely to be muted down.

Me: “So… do you like it?”

Itsuki: “In terms of how good it make me look as a girl, very much that I don’t want to wear anything else…”

Awkward silence followed. Itsuki is a guy, but the Mizuho uniform, which is mandatory at the academy where he works at, biologically turned him into a female complete with functional (but blocked) female reproductive organs that replaced the male ones. Itsuki seeing himself very much like an attractive girl instead of a man made him confused about himself, even more so with the change of senses he feel from his feminised body. It even made me, as his wife, feel uneasy too.

The 2nd generation may look identical with the 1st, but on closer look, you would notice that the official male uniform looks exactly identical to the female version. This is because Mizuho is still a co-ed school despite having “Girls” in the name. It seem that word, to them, means that everyone would be turned into girls, instead of only allowing girls in. Why? Nobody knows, except perhaps a hint from a rumour that existing male students during the move from the old campus were still retained at the new campus (where Mizuho became a “girls-only” campus) instead of being transferred out.

Itsuki: “Anyway, was what you found yourself wearing back then looked more like a school uniform, or an office attire?”

Me: “Office attire.”

Itsuki: “Colour tells me that it recognizes you as a Hatsuya employee instead of as a regular visitor, but the type of uniform also says that you do not work at the company’s local branch. However, the golden name tag you mentioned says that your rank is higher than the one in charge of the Mizuho branch or it would have been silver instead. Of course, this is slightly different with the 4th generation. The allocated design for everyone would be the same as normal staff, but the skirt pattern would be different depending on the rank. The same applies for other departments and companies located in Mizuho, but in different colours. No change of design for visitors. You may wish to take note of this the next time you head here.”

Me: “I think you are going off topic from what I wanted you to tell me for the second time.”

Itsuki: “I’m trying to, but Mizuho is making me at a sub-concious level to not think about it. Your position as my superior, having been to Mizuho, but not working there, and knowing people who works and studies there, makes the filtering system confused on what you are authorized to know that regular people aren’t allowed.”

Mizuho protecting its secrets being protective to this degree tells me that they are hiding a lot of things. Possibly controversial. I feel nervous about my 7-year-old son attending middle school in that kind of academy with these things.

Disorientated Feelings (Part 49)

I don’t like the idea of my son being sent to Mizuho because of its dark secrets it has that I know of. It being a subsidiary of the company I work for doesn’t exactly ease my mind either. I searched for alternatives, but I am very concerned about how others would treat him because of his age. No luck so far. At least, not without waiting for my son to get older.

Without an alternative besides my son remaining in primary school, he got enrolled into Mizuho. True enough, my 7-year-old son got transformed into a 15-year-old girl: anyone who is not between 15 and 30 would become of an age closer to the outer limits of the age group. Anyone who is 15 or older before wearing the uniform would have their biological age frozen to at the time they wear it, and resume from that point upon removing it (if they could that is). Which means if someone who is 16 years old wearing it for 3 years, and not wear it for an another year, that would make her biologically only 17 even though her actual age is 20. For those younger than 15, they would become like 15 year old (because they are outside the age group mentioned earlier), but their original biological age is not frozen while still wearing it (until they biologically turn 15) and their body growth would exactly be what it’s like as if they never wore the uniform. Intellengence-wise, a 3 year old wearing it would think and behave like a 15 year old, but becomes like a 3 year old (or whatever age he is at that time) on removing it. However, they can remember what they learnt when transformed and vice versa.

The changes to the uniform since Saeko’s time is relatively minor compared to the one before that. The most significant change is that the entire uniform could be taken off, with the exception being the blouse and skirt, which obviously mean anything worn underneath those can’t be removed too as they can’t be reached. All non-student clothing has been changed to look like the student version, but still retain the same colour scheme. The ribbon, which is part of the blouse, could be made very loose, but can’t be taken off or be hidden from the front unless another (approved) ribbon is worn or the condition to be able to remove the whole uniform is met. Among what could be removed, they could now wear any variation of the uniform colour they like, including ones that were previously designed for a different department. However, Mizuho personnel of different departments and positions could still be identified by the skirt they wear, especially since it’s the only piece of clothing that can’t be removed that is still visible with the other clothes on.

People have been making imitations of the uniform that, obviously, unlike the real thing, it does not contain the hidden technology embedded in it, but does look quite similar to the real one, which can be misleading to students that are about to enter. Due to Mizuho’s system of changing people on entering the campus, these fake uniforms would become the real one, although of a design that isn’t a school uniform. If detected that a student is wearing a fake uniform of the school department she actually studies at, or unknowingly wearing the wrong one, the academy will force the amount that has been cheated from the seller of the uniform to the student. At the same time, redo the uniform into the real thing. Otherwise, the money transfer doesn’t happen. In other words, nobody is able to wear the wrong uniform even if someone attempted to do so. The only exceptions are all the previous generations of the Mizuho uniform except the first, but unless with prior notice that an old uniform is being worn in the campus or before entering, that old uniform would automatically be turned into the respective version of the current generation. It’s strange that the 2nd generation uniform is allowed, but not the 1st as they are visually similar. The only thing I know was that it was introduced when Mizuho High moved to the current campus many years ago and, being a co-ed school moving to a girl-only academy, the male version being excluded.

It feels kind of strange to see a son who is supposed to be in grade 2 as a boy to be as a teenage high school girl attending middle school. He even looks much older than his older sister, who is in grade 5 now, and seem to have naturally adopted the behavior and thinking typical of… what he has been turned into. As his mother, apart from the resemblance to me and my husband, it feels like he is someone else’s child.

2nd child: “Wow, I can’t believe I became an older girl just by wearing this. Even my way of thinking is completely different now. Was I really a 7 year old boy just a moment ago? It feels like I have always been a girl and now seeking for a boyfriend… What am I saying? Mom? What are you doing? You’re tickling me.”

No matter how I try to look at my son, he looks like a girl that is twice his actual age.

Me: “It’s nothing. Just checking out how did they manage to do this with a seemingly ordinary clothing. Do you feel any different?”

2nd child: “Apart from me being bigger now, my body feels very different now. Am I all right?”

Being young and brought up in a female-only family, my son doesn’t seem to have noticed that he has biologically became a girl. He probably thinks it’s part of growing older. I don’t want to mention that to my son.

Me: “Yes, you will be fine. It’s part of becoming older. I feel the same thing with my body as what you feel with yours all the time.”

Now nobody will bully him for behaving like a girl, because he’s really is a girl now. I honestly don’t know why it’s okay for a girl to behave like a boy, but it’s not okay the other way. Same applies to other similar things.

At that moment, my husband came in without any prior warning. As he normally does these days, he always wears the Mizuho uniform. Since the fourth generation was introduced, he dresses to look like a student, but can’t hide the supervisor-only skirt he’s wearing. Apart from looking older, it’s hard for me to be able to tell him and Saeko apart. My husband seems to be holding something too.

Itsuki: “Oh, you are here too. I was wondering who our son was speaking to. Anyway, I want to test a few things out, and I have to warn you that it may cause involuntary actions. Let’s see how people who have been to Mizuho as visitors only.”

He pushed some buttons that made me feel strange. But I know lab experiments enough to know that my memory is being modified. Problem is that I can’t remember what they made me forget, or know what new memory he added into me.

Itsuki: “Which university did you graduate from?”

Is this a trick question? My memory tells me that I had studied at Meiji University, but the fact he’s even asking me this after having a strange feeling in my head tell me that this memory is likely to be false. How did he make it seem that I had actually studied there?

Me: “Meiji University? Although it’s what I remember clearly, my instincts tells me that it’s a fake memory.”

Itsuki appeared slightly irritated when I mentioned that I am am aware that the memory is fake and some buttons again. I feel dizzy again. It’s obvious that machine is doing things to my head, but how?

Itsuki: “Sorry, I didn’t get that. Which university did you say?”

Me: “Waseda University…”

I could have sworn I just said a completely different name a while ago. Itsuki was smiling strangely when I said that. Why is he smiling strangely?

2nd child: “Dad… how did you make mom think she graduated from three different universities?”

If it weren’t for my child saying that, I wouldn’t have thought that the reason for Itsuki smiling strangely was that he had successfully made me say a different name and not have me suspect that my memory had been edited, which I probably did earlier.

Me: “Itsuki, stop modifying my memories. You could damage my brain you know. Don’t forget that I am your superior at work. I overlooked this because I am your wife. Hey!”

Itsuki pressed the button again and made my head dizzy for the third time. I don’t know what memory he added or removed, but it certainly seem that I can’t recall what happened between Itsuki saying “have been to Mizuho as a visitor” and now. However, I am certain that my perspective of time didn’t suddenly skip forward. Oh, the irritation of not knowing what I did, and even more so if I knew I had forgotten something.

Itsuki: “Check your things from college if you are unsure that I had restored your memories. I didn’t modify those. Even you can’t resist your memories being modified by me to the point you can’t even tell your memory has been modified. Anyway, there’s more, though since you aren’t wearing the uniform, it is likely to have no effect on you.”

Me: “Huh? It has already happened? Did you have me forget that it even happened? You can make me forget things, but I am intelligent enough to be able to detect that my memory has been modified externally.”

Itsuki: “You may be a Hatsuya staff, but you aren’t with the Mizuho department. Anyway, for the next experiment, make sure that the voice call and video camera are active because I may be physically impaired during the experiment to check those. Those are ordinary and unmodified recording devices. Anyway, here goes.”

Itsuki went towards my son, but avoiding eye contact, before pressing that button. At that instant, he and my son had the look as if they were aroused. The three of us talked to each other, but with them having difficulty speaking properly and making random moaning sounds in the middle of it. At first, those two collapsed to the ground while trying to touch themselves, but kept failing as the clothes seemed glued to their body and unable to push the clothes aside. (I heard this is a safety feature that prevents the Mizuho girls from being raped by force, but can be irritating as they can’t access their own body.) Then, as they caught sight of each other, they started doing things to each other that only couples would do, but with the physical limitations making it look strange. I feel uneasy witnessing this. The words you hear them saying as it happened seemed like a normal conversation, but not the voice saying those words. Very distracting if they said something serious while they are like that.

Before I realized, Itsuki’s experiment has ended. While my husband was clearly aware of what had just happened, my son only remembered the conversation and nothing else, which was also reflected in the audio and video recording I just did: a seemingly normal (perhaps boring) conversation between the two of them talking normally. Completely different from what I witnessed while recording with no signs that it was edited. I don’t get how that is possible, but it does explains one of the mysteries of how Mizuho secrets aren’t revealed to the general public by accident.

Itsuki: “Looks like those test are working properly and collected some data. Although, I need to analyze it to get what happened in detail and make sense of what that means. It would have been better if they didn’t force me to use myself as a test subject of my own experiments. I regretted making fun of Saeko years ago which lead me to this situation. Anyway, our son has…”

Me: “What was that you two just did in front of me?!”

Itsuki looked troubled.

Itsuki: “Er… You saw that instead of us just standing around?”

My husband seemed embarrassed and thought of what to say to me.

Disorientated Feelings (Part 48)

The only school that is best suited for my son is Mizuho Academy: the school that seem to have some special magic to it. Saeko and my husband, who have both respectively studied and worked there for a number of years, claim that they have no role in it. It’s more of based on the situation, my son’s character and age, and so forth.

Sadly, there’s no other school that could accept both my son’s feminine behavior, and prevention of being picked on because of his young age and quite a number of people whom I don’t even know being able to recognize me on the streets because I hold a high-level position of Hatsuya, which many people are familiar with. Sending him to a normal school would mean that he could be an easy target to be bullied, or, worse, be kidnaped to force me as a highly ranked Hatsuya staff to do something undesirable. This would be a different story if my son could even defend himself.

I have 3 daughters and a son, but with this, it’s making my only son more towards the feminine side even more than he is now. It’s hard to imagine what my 7 year old son would look like as an adult.

Mizuho Girls’ Academy was founded a century ago as a co-ed high school, but there’s no official mention of them no longer accepting boys since it became a girls-only school when it moved to its current campus, or what happened to the boys of that school during the transitioning years. As it turns out, they still officially (albeit discreetly) accept boys, but they have to be turned into girls.

Despite Mizuho being known as one of the most difficult schools to enter due to their reputation for having a lot of successful women having graduated from there, on top of the school’s facilities. Ironically, the school’s entry requirements for boys are lower than an average school, which makes it seem like an option for dropouts. The catch? What I just said earlier, and complex things that only Saeko could explain. Well, with the male population becoming younger and feminized, an all girls’ school and a co-ed school doesn’t seem much of a difference in terms of the students you see walking through their school front gate.

Boys’ schools seem to be the last frontier where females are a minority, but is possibly a “dying breed” as fewer boys are being born. I have already heard of enough primary schools of villages being closed because there are too few children attending it. So, it’s possible that these schools for boys have to either be closed or start accepting female students. The latter option means effectively means going co-ed and loosing its status as a boys-only school.

To tell you the truth, being biologically young again after reaching a certain age means that you can’t die of old age because you can’t get old to begin with, though no one is certain that it would happen to them again as nobody who has already been transformed has reached that age yet. Also, I don’t like women for their behavior and visually distracting appearance, which is kind of ironic as I’m one myself. But what can I do about it? I never voluntarily wanted to be a woman, and neither could I change that. For every single month that I’m not pregnant since I turned 12, my body automatically discharges blood. This loss of blood makes me feel weak and dizzy, and experience mood swings that drives me crazy. I also don’t like to get pregnant because this would mean going through months of having a baby growing inside me and the suffering associated with I have to go through. Which is better? Experiencing going insane monthly, or keep producing children that I don’t want to take care of? Sadly, female bodies are designed to be able to reproduce babies, even if the woman herself doesn’t want to.

Mizuho students are quite distinguishable from others from a distance. They have beautiful looks, and a uniform that they look good in. Saeko had told me that there is something about that uniform that changes the wearer’s mind and body. The only noticeable external change on wearing it is that they all would have the same body measurements, and having a burst size that is large enough to no be able to hide the shape of it. Boys wearing that, particularly the one I mentioned earlier (5 paragraphs up), would also be biologically turned into girls and the changes for girls applying to them too until they take them off. However, taking it off by itself is only possible shortly after graduation or after already transferred to an other school. This means that they wear it 24/7 for 3 years, including weekends, and the boys would also adopt the female behavior, which I am primarily afraid of for my son. This is a very dark secret of Mizuho Girl’s academy, and the people who knows about it aren’t mentally be able to talk about it except to those who already knew.

Disorientated Feelings (Part 47)

Author’s note: This chronologically happens after “Alternate Dimension (Part 84)

Ever since I found out what the genders of my first two children were, I could finally be able to see their faces and hear their voices. My first child, whom I’ve always thought was a boy, is a girl. Likewise, I thought my second child was a girl, but is actually a boy. Previously, they seemed like a fuzzy presence with a fused aura of me and Itsuki before, and I couldn’t hear their voices, but somehow understood what they were saying that seemed like they were talking to my mind.

Sadly, I have now only just realized the damage that I had done from treating those two children as the gender opposite of what they really are: my daughter (first child) seemed aloof and morose towards me. The things I gave her that she didn’t like were given away to someone else after accepting it from me. No wonder Saeko asked me to stop buying gender-specific things for her, because I always gave her stuff for boys.

However, even more damaging is to my son (second child), who openly dresses like a girl with the female things I gave him, including his school uniform, from the time when I still thought that he’s a girl. No one in the family corrected this behavior: all of my other children are girls, my husband crossdresses most of the time, and Saeko has some physical restrictions that prevented her from being able to fix it even though she knows what to do. At the age he is now, nobody, not even me, could change this behavior. I could have been able to fix this problem if only I knew about it before it was too late to change it. An example would be like preventing my kids from inheriting my “abnormal” genes by not even getting pregnant, except that I didn’t even know I had such a thing until I already had four children. No thanks to Hatsuya, my uncle especially, for that part. The irony…

So, you might be wondering why nobody questions about my son’s behavior? Well, due to some phenomenon the males are now “like weaklings”, and anyone (both men and women) who could had corrected this had been turned into teenage girls that don’t remember much from their former selves. The school my son attends has rules on how the male and female uniforms should be worn, but it’s written in a way that anyone of any gender could wear either one: This means that nobody at his school is stopping him from wearing the female uniform as, according to the school rules, it is allowed. What’s even stranger? He’s not the only one doing this. Hard to say how many as some of them really look like girls.

Sometimes, I question about the level of my own sanity.


Ever since the parent-teacher meeting with my first child in primary school, we found out that she inherited all of my memories to the point that she already knows a lot of what is taught in primary school, as evident from her scoring full marks. To see what level is suitable for her, she took exams for various grades and schools in increasing difficulty. Of course, looking at the amount of tests this would mean, this has to be narrowed down.

From the results of the tests she has taken, she is capable of skipping straight to college, but she chose to skip to grade 5 instead: she has a tough time choosing between skipping through grades, but be too young to enter the workforce (be only at the age of 10 on graduating from college if entered right after grade 1), and making friends. It’s hard to make friends when the age gap when everyone around you is a lot older, and it’s harder to make friends with an adult without them backstabbing you at some point unless you befriended them before college-level.

My son, too, inherits my memories, though a bit more than his older sister. However, his behavior (which I’ve talked about earlier) means that he’s very scared when people talk to him specifically or do anything that involves interacting with people, including paying at the cashier. That means he doesn’t really have any close friends. Somewhat following his older sister’s footsteps, he also wants to skip primary school too. Without friends that would hinder his progress, he could actually skip to grades that are ahead of his sister. However, he doesn’t know which school to go to that would suit him, and he seems self-aware about his own timid behavior. The only school I know from home that is suitable for him is…

No, it can’t be what I think it is, right?

Disorientated Feelings (Part 46)

[Author’s note: the first child is a girl, but the mother (protagonist) thinks she’s a boy. The opposite is true for the second child.]

Itsuki and I considered the options available for the future of our first child. No, cost isn’t a problem as the both of us have well-paying jobs. What we are more concerned is the outcome of the child’s future if we decide on the option, which is mostly in the unknown. I want the child to be normal, but neither do I want to restrict what my son’s potential. I see that he’s not studying, but yet, score full marks, so if he studies, he could be learning that older people would usually learn. This indirectly means that he could have a college degree at a young age, or maybe higher.

However, him being a smart kid and having me as a parent who hold a high job position means that he could be popular, but also means harder for him to find a friend. I want him to be normal, but I’m not exactly normal myself, biologically, but that’s not my choice. Unlike other (normal) families like mine, I won’t pressure him to study to have a job like mine. I wouldn’t mind if if he picks up a career in driving trains, but I do have to admit that his potential would be wasted if that happens considering that he’s academically smarter than peers of his age.

Whatever the choice may be, it’s likely to set a path for my daughters, but if two of them are also as smart as like their brother, the remaining child would be vulnerable to being bullied… I don’t know if that would happen, but as their parent it is my concern. If he really has my memories, him attending school is like me attending at least 15 years worth of attending school again, which I certainly wouldn’t be happy if I am taught the same thing again.

To confirm that my child has my memories, and to what degree, I would have to ask him things that I remember that I never mentioned to anyone, including Saeko and Itsuki.

Me: “Er… Sorry for asking this out of the blue, but what do you know about your father around the time I first met him.”

1st child: “Well, the first time you saw him was during lunch break right after golden week as he was looking into your classroom. Dad heard about you from his classmates for being a smart and beautiful girl. Of course, back then, you simply saw him as one of the many boys who admired you, and never paid attention to him until he crashed into you while struggling to carry your classmate’s exercise books to the staff room. Mentally, you were still not interested in him, but your body reacted as though he’s your man for the rest of your life, which seems to still be true today. Dad didn’t mind because, to him, the most popular girl in school has thrown herself at him, who, unlike other boys, never competed for your attention.”

I don’t think I can remember seeing someone I know BEFORE knowing them for the first time, but it does seem that he has me and Itsuki’s memories and cross-referenced then to come up with that answer. I feel creeped out at how detailed he described it as if he was me. I really wasn’t interested in Itsuki, but him bumping into me triggered something in my body that forces me to love him forever.

Me: “Okay… what other memories of me do you have from before you were born?”

1st child: “You went with 5 of your college friends to New York from California by car. One of the cars had a flat tire along the way. Another memory is you meeting grandfather after a failed interview right after collecting your high school uniform. The latest memory I have before I was born is you finding out how the previous bosses, of where you work now, treated them. There’s more.”

…Huh?! Although this did happened, I never mentioned any of these to anyone else. He could hear from other people, but how does he know about the car I was in having a flat tire that happened along a deserted road America?! Even Itsuki and Saeko doesn’t know the details of that trip other than being a graduation trip, and I only showed them photos when I was at New York City. That last memory he mentioned was not long before I became pregnant with him. Now I’m freaked out.

It became clear from my little test that that this child is too smart for a normal school as he inherited all the knowledge I have at the time of giving birth to him. No wonder he’s strangely well mannered for an infant as, to him who has my memories, may be thinking that he was me and suddenly finds himself in the body of an infant born from who he though he always has been. I am worried that he could be more of a likely target among certain people because of what he is, or my job position.

1st child: “Mum, why are you asking me these questions? Don’t you know them yourself?”

The question here is how do you know something that I never told anyone else about.

Me: “Well, after the parent-teacher meeting, I have been thinking about your teacher’s advice of skipping grades, or transfer you to an another school for smart children such as yourself, but I don’t know if you are fine with that, especially being separated from your friends. Although, the schools in question are close enough to not have the need to move house. It doesn’t have to be soon: we can do it from the following school year.”

He seemed to be staring blankly at me for a moment after I talked. It has been a while since I had a one-on-one conversation with him. Also, he and my other children grew up in this house.

1st child: “Well… Maybe I’ll think about it first. Although, I do find the things taught in school is something I already know and are too easy. I don’t know what grade my knowledge level is equal to, so is there some kind of an exam or something to measure it? As for friends, I do have some, but not really close enough to go out together.”

I was surprised at how he said that: he spoke with vocabulary that only middle school students or older would usually be able to use naturally.

Me: “I will search for past exam papers for fourth grade and higher and see if you can do it. Maybe high school and college papers if necessary. I suspect that you might have inherited my memories, as I never told anyone about that flat tire while I was traveling in America, but you described that in detail.”

1st child: “Huh? Didn’t you show me a video of it before? It seems so clear and detailed from your point of view.”

That can’t be right.

Me: “Um, I did not record any of the events you mentioned.”

1st child: “Huh? You didn’t? Then what was I… Wait, I have your memories?! How is this possible? But I don’t know anything about what you do after I was born.”

I would like to say something like “Hatsuya modified me in a way that also affects the children I give birth to“, but I guess it’s better not to say that. After all, it’s not like I even know of such things until long after I have given birth to two children. It’s like they wanted the work invested in me to be passed to my children, but doesn’t want ME, the subject in question, to know about it until it has already happened as they believe that I won’t produce children and/or kill myself if I did.

Since they are already born and almost grown up, parent-child bonding, the society, and the law, wouldn’t let me kill my children, and they really took advantage of “what will happen to my children when I die” situation that would also prevent me from committing suicide. Especially the parent-child bonding part.

Me: “I don’t know why myself. I guess its because you are my child after all and inherited things from me. My wild guess is that your mental age could be the same as me. Anything else?”

1st child: “Yeah, thanks for talking to me and the thought of not wanting me being separated from my friends. Well, since you said I could skip grades, maybe I would try that first before transferring schools. If primary school is too easy for me, are there other schools for me?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I have heard of a 10-year old attending universities.”

I’m reluctant to say that as I want to see my children in high school as teenagers.

1st child: “Okay, thanks mum. Oh, and one more thing: Saeko told me about the curse preventing you from knowing what gender I am. You are seeing me and ***** (name of 2nd child) as nothing more than a ghostly presence that feels like you and dad combined that is hard for you to look and hear, which is worsening as we get older as our bodies develop what Saeko calls “gender differences” and the differences would become greater.”

Saeko, what on earth have you been teaching my children with? Well, that is partly my fault for dumping my responsibility of raising my children to her.

Me: “Did she say anything about solving it?”

1st child: “Something about it being effective if I’m not mentally prepared for it. She didn’t go into detail about that other than you having to talk to her. Although, it does answer my frustration of why you are treating me like a ***** and giving ***** clothes for *****. I guess it doesn’t matter now as males are mysteriously becoming young females rapidly. Just look at what happened to our grandfathers and great-grandparents.”

My dad has been turned into a teenage girl recently as he is above 40, but mum remain unchanged as the age that would happen to females is 80. Since dad is female now, he would become a young girl again when he turns 80 (120 if you count from the year he was born) years old. That means nobody dies of old age as no one could become old to begin with. More girls means more children could be produced, but with declining number of males necessary to make females pregnant, that it’s harder for that to be possible. Although, the time it takes for a male to generate “the fertilizer” is just a few hours, compared to a woman’s pregnancy time of almost the whole wear. The technology already exists for females to have children without males should they have difficulty, but the child resulting from this method is always female as the genes necessary to produce males are completely absent.

Being a scientist, and as a female myself, it’s kind of sad to see more and more females on the street at the cost of fewer and fewer men. Also, what’s so great about the female gender? Actually, it’s the default gender for us humans when we were simply eggs in the mother’s womb. Males are somewhat like a mutated version of the female human that is crafted to meet the needs of the female counterpart, including having increased toughness and strength for defending the females, and body size so that girls could hold on to them. That largely explains why males have nipples, and they can still feel arousal if you touch the area of skin were, on females, is where pee comes out from.

Females are “pure” humans (eg. not be turned into males), they naturally have longer lifespan. Rapidly changing emotions is an another annoying feature that I’m aware of, but can’t stop it. If I’m wearing a skirt, and if the toilets have washlets in it, I don’t even need to touch my private parts during my entire time in the toilet. A woman can get aroused easily from being touched as their skin is more sensitive than males. I don’t want to get aroused unnecessarily by my own hand every time I use the toilet. If all this happens to my body, imagine everyone else experiencing the same thing, and the shock from males who had been turned into females that are not used to the body.

Part 45 | Part 47