532th post


Now, these clothes that I have… Aside from the uniforms, I only bought them because they look good on me, not because I like them. Sadly, none of the clothes I liked would fit me nicely. The irony of looking good in something I hate… It’s the problem with my body.

Sure people would say that I’m medically and visually normal, but the mental image of myself is completely different from the me I always look down at or in the mirror. The only (socially acceptable) clothes I could wear strongly reminds me of being the gender I don’t want to be. So much that I don’t want to look at myself, but I’m pretty much stuck with it for my whole life.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? I mean, we are both humans. And the only difference is who gets to be able to make the offspring, and who would be able to “unlock” that process as the other can’t make offspring on their own like any other animals. Over time, these genes that make the two attract each other have seem to create separate “factions” between the two genders as though completely different species that shouldn’t be mixed.

As I grew up, I didn’t pay attention to this, until I noticed guys wearing pants instead of shorts, and girls still wearing skirts in secondary education. What made it more obvious to me was everyone of my age then growing longer legs, guys grew bigger and taller compared to girls and their voice changed, girls became grew bigger and mature earlier than guys (but end up being smaller than guys as an adult) had those visibly growing out of their chest and, wearing a skirt + legs growing longer = more leg exposure. The more I look at myself, the more scared of what I had become, or why I react to certain things differently. Gender differences became so obvious, and, the closer to adulthood, the more I question about the things I found myself to be doing, and my body is now desperate to wanting something with someone of a gender opposite of mine. I’m not mentally influenced by this and find it a hindrance and disruptive, but my body can make my mind go blank or unable to resist. I think men have it worse when aroused because… you know, pokes through the pants, while women just er… have it larger. I didn’t know my gender was decided by dad months before I was born, though me, and my siblings, was created to replace them.

If you have been reading those thousands and thousands of words for my stories I had written here since 2008, you would have noticed some relevance of its theme with this post, especially the 2nd story. You can tell how disconnected my mind is from my body.

Well, whether you are someone I know in person, following me (or someone in common) on either Twitter or Facebook, or just stumble across this while searching…. Well think about the inequality between people.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Edit: Also, when people write things of becoming someone else, or being a different version of themselves, they never consider being a different hometown, race, gender, completely different set of friends or parents.

>532th post

>


Now, these clothes that I have… Aside from the uniforms, I only bought them because they look good on me, not because I like them. Sadly, none of the clothes I liked would fit me nicely. The irony of looking good in something I hate… It’s the problem with my body.

Sure people would say that I’m medically and visually normal, but the mental image of myself is completely different from the me I always look down at or in the mirror. The only (socially acceptable) clothes I could wear strongly reminds me of being the gender I don’t want to be. So much that I don’t want to look at myself, but I’m pretty much stuck with it for my whole life.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? I mean, we are both humans. And the only difference is who gets to be able to make the offspring, and who would be able to “unlock” that process as the other can’t make offspring on their own like any other animals. Over time, these genes that make the two attract each other have seem to create separate “factions” between the two genders as though completely different species that shouldn’t be mixed.

As I grew up, I didn’t pay attention to this, until I noticed guys wearing pants instead of shorts, and girls still wearing skirts in secondary education. What made it more obvious to me was everyone of my age then growing longer legs, guys grew bigger and taller compared to girls and their voice changed, girls became grew bigger and mature earlier than guys (but end up being smaller than guys as an adult) had those visibly growing out of their chest and, wearing a skirt + legs growing longer = more leg exposure. The more I look at myself, the more scared of what I had become, or why I react to certain things differently. Gender differences became so obvious, and, the closer to adulthood, the more I question about the things I found myself to be doing, and my body is now desperate to wanting something with someone of a gender opposite of mine. I’m not mentally influenced by this and find it a hindrance and disruptive, but my body can make my mind go blank or unable to resist. I think men have it worse when aroused because… you know, pokes through the pants, while women just er… have it larger. I didn’t know my gender was decided by dad months before I was born, though me, and my siblings, was created to replace them.

If you have been reading those thousands and thousands of words for my stories I had written here since 2008, you would have noticed some relevance of its theme with this post, especially the 2nd story. You can tell how disconnected my mind is from my body.

Well, whether you are someone I know in person, following me (or someone in common) on either Twitter or Facebook, or just stumble across this while searching…. Well think about the inequality between people.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Edit: Also, when people write things of becoming someone else, or being a different version of themselves, they never consider being a different hometown, race, gender, completely different set of friends or parents.

414th post: Noodles

Noodles are stiff and fragile when dry.

But soft and springy when soaked in water for some time.

It tastes plain, but flavoring can be added.

However, that flavoring is not part of the noodle.

It just sits on top of it or the soup it is soaked in.

Chocolate marshmallow flavored noodle….

Purple noodles…

When bringing them abound in its unused form, broken pieces are unavoidable.

A cup of hot instant noodles is warm in the cold tempreatures.

It’s hard to tell when those 3 minutes are up.

And I don’t know why I’m talking about noodles.

Or what’s with the purple chocolate marshmallow part I mentioned earlier.

414th post: Noodles

Noodles are stiff and fragile when dry.

But soft and springy when soaked in water for some time.

It tastes plain, but flavoring can be added.

However, that flavoring is not part of the noodle.

It just sits on top of it or the soup it is soaked in.

Chocolate marshmallow flavored noodle….

Purple noodles…

When bringing them abound in its unused form, broken pieces are unavoidable.

A cup of hot instant noodles is warm in the cold tempreatures.

It’s hard to tell when those 3 minutes are up.

And I don’t know why I’m talking about noodles.

Or what’s with the purple chocolate marshmallow part I mentioned earlier.

68th post

I was doing stuff to my face when something white accompanied by near-transparent liquid (and blood) came out from inside my face like a rocket. Before that happened, it felt like a lump. Wonder what created that thing…


All the Volvo B10M MKII buses are being replaced by the Scania K230UB (pictured) this year.

68th post

I was doing stuff to my face when something white accompanied by near-transparent liquid (and blood) came out from inside my face like a rocket. Before that happened, it felt like a lump. Wonder what created that thing…


All the Volvo B10M MKII buses are being replaced by the Scania K230UB (pictured) this year.

68th post

I was doing stuff to my face when something white accompanied by near-transparent liquid (and blood) came out from inside my face like a rocket. Before that happened, it felt like a lump. Wonder what created that thing…


All the Volvo B10M MKII buses are being replaced by the Scania K230UB (pictured) this year.